According to the media, sexual addiction is a complete male problem – or at least that is all we are supposed to hear. Guys cheating on their wives, guys visiting whores, guys going to strip clubs, massage saloons and surely, male politicians sexting on the Internet. Does this mean that there are no sex addicts among girls? If there are girls out there who are acting out with sex, where are they and why don’t we know more about them? The news media provides lots of examples of celebrity husbands who cheat on their wives in ways that frequently result in public humiliation for both of them (Tiger, Clinton, Sanford, Weiner). But what about girls who ‘act out’ with romance and sex? What we know is that women act out as addicts with alcohol, drugs, food, caretaking and gambling spending, but the truth is that there is little to no study on female relationship and sex addiction. What we actually know nowadays is that approximately 8% to 12% of those looking for sexual addiction treatment are girls (which surprisingly more or less mirrors the amount of guys facing eating disorders treatment), but it is highly likely that lots of girls fight with compulsive and impulsive relationship and sexual disorders. A girl is less likely than a guy to ask for help for her troubles in sexual behavior for a number of reasons – mostly connected with the shame. Emblematic of this problem is the reference of our culture for the guy who is generating lots of sexual contacts: ‘stud’, whereas a girl engaging in the same kind of activity is considered to  be ‘nympho’ or just ‘whore.’  This type of prejudice leaves those girls with romantic and sexual behavior problems more highly subject to prejudice and shame – and therefore less likely to ask for help. Even the girl whose romantic and sexual behaviors are leading her to great problems (family, career, relationship, health) isn’t likely to identify as having a sexual addiction, she is more likely to use definitions like, “I tend to choose the wrong sexual partners,” “I have relationship troubles.” While girls more frequently see and experience sexuality in more relational terms then guys do – even when a girl is having intercourse in the same frequency and ways as a male sex addict often will not identify as having herself as getting into this trouble. While the primary etiology of guys’ sexual addiction is mostly based in early emotional neglect, early attachment deficits or covert parental incest – sex addicts among women report much larger incidents of physical neglect or trauma, profound overt childhood abuse – frequently sexual, which causes sex addiction and intimacy problems in adult life. Some of these girls aren’t aware of living out their early abuse by becoming sex workers like strippers, hookers, porn actresses, sensual massage and so on, trying to give themselves a sense of ‘control’ over early out of control experiences.  As their later lives are influenced by exchanging sex for cash and the feelings of control and force that sexual behavior suggests them, these girls have little access to public support or role models toward self-examination and change. Not all girls among relationship and sex addicts are whores however, lots of them are single ladies, housewives or even teens, who utilize romantic and sex intensity as a means of comfort and self-stability, despite different risks and dangers connected with addictive sexual relationships. In terms of risk taking and out-of-control behavior, sex addicts among women are very close to sex addicts among men. Mary S. asked for help in an acute crisis when her husband Jeff got to know about her having lots of affairs and was threatened to leave unless she got treatment. Mary, 38, is a mom of two kids aged 4 and 7. Additionally to the affairs and anonymous sexual liaisons both before and during her relationship, Mary also discovered ‘losing myself on a daily basis’ to 30-40 minutes of porn watching with masturbation, ‘to help calm me down or as a way to fall asleep’ for about all her adult life. She just reported this as ‘what I choose for relax’ but she also keeps her secret from her husband. Despite Mary had a highly emotionally and physically abusive home environment, she hadn’t previously sought out therapy or treatment nor did she connect her trouble adult romantic and sexual history to early childhood abuse. She reported her therapist that she had always believed that ‘by connecting my life with the right man, I could simply put the past behind me, when I met Jeff – I thought my life was safe.’ Right after her first kid was born, Mary became involved in romantic/sexual affairs with both a neighbor and separately, a co-worker, thinking then that her marriage had become routine and she required these other experiences to feel ‘more alive.’ Additionally to the stated ongoing romantic and sexual affairs over the past few years, Mary has been signing onto Craigslist looking for other sexual partners and casual sex whenever she or her husband are out of city for work. Beyond her sexual acting out experience – Mary was highly motivated to save her marriage and keep her family together. Nowadays there are several precious resources for love and sex addicts among women include the recent book ‘Waiting to Heal’ written by Kelly McDaniel, ‘Women, Sex and Addiction’ by Charlotte Kasl. SLAA, Sex and Love addicts Anonymous is a sex addiction recovery program consisted of 12 steps that motivates female participation and suggests lots of gender separate meetings. A residential treatment center in Nunnelly called The Ranch, Tennessee suggests private, gender separate residential treatment for girls with sex addiction. The most necessary step a girl with love and sex addiction can take toward recovery is sincerely and honestly bond with healthy adult women, not for intercourse but for friendship, mutual support and recreation. Sharing their sexual experience in non-graphic details with other girls to reduce shame and non-sexual bonding with supportive girls helps alleviate the need to use guys in a sexual way for self-stability and self-soothing. Here is the abbreviated list of 20 key questions adapted from the Sex and Love Addicts books that might have a girl self-identify if she has got into this kind of trouble. Are you a female sex and love addict?       Do you feel that your life is unmanageable because of your romantic or sexual behavior or your excessive dependency requirements?     Are you unable to stop seeing a certain individual even though you know that seeing this individual is destructive to you?     Do you feel that you don’t need anyone to know about your romantic or sexual affairs? Do you feel you have to keep in secret these affairs from others – family, friends, co-workers and so on?     Do you feel ‘high’ from romance or sex and then crash when the affair or experience is over?     Have you had sex at inappropriate places, times or with inappropriate persons?     Do you promise yourself or create rules for yourself considering your romantic and sexual behavior that you find you cannot follow?     Have you had or do you have sex with somebody you don’t or didn’t want to have sex with?     Have you ever thought that there might be more you could do with your life in case you weren’t so influenced by romantic or sexual affairs?     Are you desperate about your need for a future boyfriend, a lover or sexual fix? Have you had or do you have sex no matter what consequences are (for example, the risk of contracting disease or the threat of being disclosed)? Do you feel that you have a sample of repeating bad relationships? Do you feel like a lifeless puppet unless there is a person around with whom you can flirt? Do you feel you aren’t really alive unless you are with your romantic or sexual partner? Have you ever threatened your career, financial stability or standing in the community by pursuing a sexual partner? Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or crashed because of outside sexual affair? Do you think that your life was senseless without a love relationship or sex? Do you think that you would have no identity if you were not somebody’s partner? Do you find yourself sexualizing or flirting with somebody even if that wasn’t your aim? Does your romantic or sexual behavior influence your reputation? Are you uncomfortable about your masturbation because of the frequency with which you please yourself, the fantasies you have, the props you use, and the places in which you do it? Do you feel unable to concentrate on other spheres of your life because of thoughts or feeling you have about sex or other person? Do you feel yourself obsessing about a certain individual or sexual act even though these thoughts cause discomfort, craving and pain?